If someone has done something you disagree with.. you have to decide what your aim is
If it is to just make your point come what may then that is an ego response but a response nevertheless
If however you want a chance of getting anywhere I might suggest the following

Instead of saying

I have a bone to pick with you
or
I dont like fighting but we have to talk
or
we always argue but this has to be addresses
etc
Rather say

I have something important to me that I would like to discuss with you

Could you spare me a few moments there is something I would like your input on

I would love to hear your take on -------

etc etc
In other words take the war out of your words if you want peace and you can still make a strong firm point in way that increases your chances of actually making an impact that will get the point home

DESCRIBE DONT EVALUATE

YOU MAY GET SOMEONES ATTENTION BUT IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE LISTENING....YOU WANT THEIR EAR NOT THEIR FEAR..