If you have a reason to live then like it or not consciously or subconsciously you are grateful...whatever that reason is,even if it is warped

If you want something you are grateful for whatever you think it will give you warped or not

I could go on but it is clear gratitude is at the very fabric of life even at its most warped
So why not build on it ,transform it and then slowly your vision will clear up and you will see the miracles that always were and live the life , the meaningfully beautiful life that G-D has gifted you with since before creation